This is the story behind my daughter's life. My testimony...
but please first read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3
Throughout this entire time, I still believed God for his faithfulness and I never doubted that he would give us a daughter. I questioned whether there was something wrong with my body, but I never questioned God, so in faith I still bought baby girl clothes and things I wanted in her nursery. The doctors had told us to wait at least six months, after my second miscarriage, before we began trying again, and that's what we did. We got pregnant and this pregnancy was progressing normally; I got my ultrasounds and they gave me a July 2013 due date. I had the usual morning sickness and fatigue, but nothing out of the ordinary. The one thing that I did notice was that my morning sickness did not last long. At thirteen weeks I should have still been sick, but it had stopped a few weeks earlier but I had no complaints about that!
I was in the process of praising God for taking my morning sickness away, when I started bleeding. of course I cried, but this time was definitely different from the previous time. I called my husband at work, he met me at the hospital where they once again confirmed that I had lost my baby but that I had been measuring more like ten weeks instead of thirteen. I asked the nurse and she told me that the baby had probably died a couple weeks earlier and my body was now rejecting it and that's when it hit me, after my second miscarriage the doctor had also told me that I was measuring ten weeks instead of thirteen and it reminded me that the Lord had spoken to me and told me that the baby had died before I actually miscarried.
So we continued on with our lives, living in hope, waiting for our daughter. Late August 2013, as I lay in bed, the Lord gave me a vision: I saw a little girl on top of a grassy hill, swinging on a swing. I didn't really think anything of it, I actually thought the vision was for someone else. On October 1, I woke up just wanting to be in the presence of the Lord, worshiping him, so I went into my family room and began to worship. At the end of my worship, The Lord spoke to me, clearer than I have ever heard him speak to me before ( It was a voice, not an impression on my heart). He said "It's time for the promise" and I immediately knew what he meant as I was reminded of those knitted pink baby mittens that I was given over two years earlier. Immediately after I heard the Lord's voice, and I mean immediately, I got nauseous. I crawled into bed and my husband asked me what was wrong and I told him that I thought I had a stomach bug. I was nauseous for an entire week before I finally believed that I was in fact pregnant.
I was speaking to a friend and she asked me if my husband and I had been trying for a baby and I told her "yes" and she told me that there was life in my wombs. I went to my doctor and she confirmed that I was pregnant and from that moment I had a conviction, if you will, a certainty, an assurance that I would not miscarry with this pregnancy; that I had heard the Lord right, and that I would have my baby girl.
Our baby girl was scheduled for July 24, but on July 17, 2014 without any warning baby girl came a week early as if to say, "you've waited long enough, here I am". she came quickly (within nineteen minutes of us getting to the hospital), and she was received with love and a heart of thanksgiving to the Lord for his faithfulness and for blessing us with such an amazing gift of life.
Whenever the Lord speaks to me, he always confirms what he has said in some way or another. The Lord promised us our baby girl on September 8, 2011 and on September 8, 2015, baby girl officially walked!
Psalm 18:6 reads: " In my distress I called to the LORD; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears".
I love the Lord because even in my frustrations he saw my frailed heart and he heard my cries and in his loving kindness he answered me. I love him because his words to me that night when I cried out to him for answers gave my weary heart rest. I love the Lord for many reasons, but it's his faithfulness that always seem to captivate me. The journey was not what I had expected, but God remained faithful through it all.
Friday, February 12, 2016
Thursday, February 11, 2016
God's Faithfulness: The Story Behind My Daughter's Life: Part 3
This is the story behind my daughter's life. My testimony...
But please read part 1 and Part 2 first
So the Saturday I miscarried, my cramping was especially bad. Usually I would cramp for awhile and it would go away, then maybe come back in a few hours, very inconsistent, but that Saturday, I had been cramping all day. I was worried because I couldn't understand why I was cramping so badly, but it never crossed my mind that I would miscarry. It was a Saturday, and though my husband usually works Saturdays, he was off that day. We went about our day, not really doing much, just another lazy day.
That evening my husband went to a church meeting and while he was out, I attempted to mop the kitchen floor but my cramping was getting bad so I had to stop. By the time my husband came home from the meeting, my cramping had gotten worse that I decided to call my doctor. I told her my symptoms and she told me that I was most likely miscarrying. My heart sank! Two minutes after I got off the phone with her I went to the bathroom and as I bent down, I felt a pinch; the same pinch that I had felt five years earlier when my water broke with my firstborn, and then I started bleeding out. I wept like a baby! I remember just crying to my husband, almost pleading with him, to save the baby. I told him that I did not want to lose the baby and he looked at me with tears in his eyes, not knowing what to say.
So at the hospital they gave me an ultrasoud and confirmed that I had in fact miscarried ( though I didn't need an ultrasound to confirm it to me- I remember just being in the hospital bathroom trying to see if I could make out an arm, or a leg, something, just anything...but of course I couldn't). The doctor also told me something of significance, that at the time, was just another hopeless word. He told me that it looked like I was only measuring ten weeks instead of the thirteen that I was told I was.
So my husband and I left the hospital heartbroken, but we weren't hopeless. There was something in us that gave us the strength to laugh in the midst of tears. So we went home broken yet whole. In the weeks and months that followed, my husband and I would understand the meaning of 'in sickness and in health'. I began having problems where my heart would start racing as though I were having a heart attack. I could not walk for too long because my heart would start pounding and I became short of breath. I didn't know what was wrong with me. There were nights that I would make sure to tell my boys and my husband that I loved them, because I wasn't sure if I would make it through the night. But my husband loved me and with prayer he nursed me back to health, but it was certainly a long road, and though I didn't know it or believed it at the time, I now believe that I was going through post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
On one of the nights, after coming back from the hospital, I laid in bed, crying, and I asked God why he had let me cancel and ultrasould that I had earlier in the week, knowing that I was going to miscarry and immediately he answered me and spoke to my heart and told me "because the baby had already died". My response? a simple, "Oh". Never having had a miscarriage of that "magnitude" before, I had assumed, that the day I bled out was the day the baby inside me died but the Lord confirmed that I was wrong, and the doctor confirmed it aslo, but I wouldn't put two and two together until my third miscarriage.
But please read part 1 and Part 2 first
So the Saturday I miscarried, my cramping was especially bad. Usually I would cramp for awhile and it would go away, then maybe come back in a few hours, very inconsistent, but that Saturday, I had been cramping all day. I was worried because I couldn't understand why I was cramping so badly, but it never crossed my mind that I would miscarry. It was a Saturday, and though my husband usually works Saturdays, he was off that day. We went about our day, not really doing much, just another lazy day.
That evening my husband went to a church meeting and while he was out, I attempted to mop the kitchen floor but my cramping was getting bad so I had to stop. By the time my husband came home from the meeting, my cramping had gotten worse that I decided to call my doctor. I told her my symptoms and she told me that I was most likely miscarrying. My heart sank! Two minutes after I got off the phone with her I went to the bathroom and as I bent down, I felt a pinch; the same pinch that I had felt five years earlier when my water broke with my firstborn, and then I started bleeding out. I wept like a baby! I remember just crying to my husband, almost pleading with him, to save the baby. I told him that I did not want to lose the baby and he looked at me with tears in his eyes, not knowing what to say.
So at the hospital they gave me an ultrasoud and confirmed that I had in fact miscarried ( though I didn't need an ultrasound to confirm it to me- I remember just being in the hospital bathroom trying to see if I could make out an arm, or a leg, something, just anything...but of course I couldn't). The doctor also told me something of significance, that at the time, was just another hopeless word. He told me that it looked like I was only measuring ten weeks instead of the thirteen that I was told I was.
So my husband and I left the hospital heartbroken, but we weren't hopeless. There was something in us that gave us the strength to laugh in the midst of tears. So we went home broken yet whole. In the weeks and months that followed, my husband and I would understand the meaning of 'in sickness and in health'. I began having problems where my heart would start racing as though I were having a heart attack. I could not walk for too long because my heart would start pounding and I became short of breath. I didn't know what was wrong with me. There were nights that I would make sure to tell my boys and my husband that I loved them, because I wasn't sure if I would make it through the night. But my husband loved me and with prayer he nursed me back to health, but it was certainly a long road, and though I didn't know it or believed it at the time, I now believe that I was going through post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
On one of the nights, after coming back from the hospital, I laid in bed, crying, and I asked God why he had let me cancel and ultrasould that I had earlier in the week, knowing that I was going to miscarry and immediately he answered me and spoke to my heart and told me "because the baby had already died". My response? a simple, "Oh". Never having had a miscarriage of that "magnitude" before, I had assumed, that the day I bled out was the day the baby inside me died but the Lord confirmed that I was wrong, and the doctor confirmed it aslo, but I wouldn't put two and two together until my third miscarriage.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
God's Faithfulness: The Story Behind My Daughter's Life: Part 2
This is the story behind my daughter's life. My testimony...
Please read part 1 first
So those pink knitted mittens became a sign of a promise from God, and a go-ahead from him that we could start trying for that little girl that he promised us, and that's what we did. So in October of 2011, my eldest came up to me and said "Mama you have a baby in your belly". I asked him how he knew and he said that he just did, so I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I was pregnant! but the result line was so faint that I was not sure, so the next day, Saturday, I took another one and it was also positive! but still very, very faint. On Monday morning I went to the doctor's office and they gave me the same results, but again the test lines were still very very faint.
Now I think it's very important to mention that I had taken many pregnancy tests, at times when I was pregnant with my first, between my first and my second ( I had a hernia that left me feeling nauseous) and after my second. so I know my body and I have never had a positive pregnancy test if I wasn't pregnant. On the other hand, I have had a negative pregnancy test while I was pregnant and had to have a blood test confirm that I was in fact pregnant.
So I left the doctor's office on Monday morning with a July 1, 2012 due date. On Wednesday morning I miscarried! I was confused and didn't know what to do and even though my doctor told me to go to the emergency room, I didn't go. We weren't heartbroken, we just determined that we would just try again the next month, and that's what we did.
So Thanksgiving day 2011 while standing in front of my stove making macaroni and cheese, I tasted the cheese sauce and almost threw up and I knew I was pregnant. I went to my doctor and after a few tests, including two blood tests, it was finally confirmed that I was pregnant. On the 8th of December I went for my first ultrasound and even though that little bambino (that's what I nicknamed her) hadn't yet formed any arms or legs she was moving so much, and I fell in love.
So my pregnancy went along with the usual morning sickness and fatigue, etc. but there was something different about this pregnancy than my other two. I was always cramping! Ironically, I remember one day saying that I felt like this baby was going to bleed out and even though I didn't know it at the time, that is exactly what happened.
Stay tuned for part 3
Please read part 1 first
So those pink knitted mittens became a sign of a promise from God, and a go-ahead from him that we could start trying for that little girl that he promised us, and that's what we did. So in October of 2011, my eldest came up to me and said "Mama you have a baby in your belly". I asked him how he knew and he said that he just did, so I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! I was pregnant! but the result line was so faint that I was not sure, so the next day, Saturday, I took another one and it was also positive! but still very, very faint. On Monday morning I went to the doctor's office and they gave me the same results, but again the test lines were still very very faint.
Now I think it's very important to mention that I had taken many pregnancy tests, at times when I was pregnant with my first, between my first and my second ( I had a hernia that left me feeling nauseous) and after my second. so I know my body and I have never had a positive pregnancy test if I wasn't pregnant. On the other hand, I have had a negative pregnancy test while I was pregnant and had to have a blood test confirm that I was in fact pregnant.
So I left the doctor's office on Monday morning with a July 1, 2012 due date. On Wednesday morning I miscarried! I was confused and didn't know what to do and even though my doctor told me to go to the emergency room, I didn't go. We weren't heartbroken, we just determined that we would just try again the next month, and that's what we did.
So Thanksgiving day 2011 while standing in front of my stove making macaroni and cheese, I tasted the cheese sauce and almost threw up and I knew I was pregnant. I went to my doctor and after a few tests, including two blood tests, it was finally confirmed that I was pregnant. On the 8th of December I went for my first ultrasound and even though that little bambino (that's what I nicknamed her) hadn't yet formed any arms or legs she was moving so much, and I fell in love.
So my pregnancy went along with the usual morning sickness and fatigue, etc. but there was something different about this pregnancy than my other two. I was always cramping! Ironically, I remember one day saying that I felt like this baby was going to bleed out and even though I didn't know it at the time, that is exactly what happened.
Stay tuned for part 3
Monday, February 8, 2016
God's Faithfulness: The Story Behind My Daughter's Life: Part 1
This is the story behind my daughter's life. My testimony...
The Lord blessed me with two wonderful boys. My firstborn was born in 2007, on my first year anniversary. I always call him my anniversary gift from God. My middle was born two years later in 2009. He is my "just because it was Monday" gift from God. (My husband, while we were dating, would always get me flowers "just because" whatever day it was). My husband comes from a family of seven children, six of whom are boys. I, myself, have two older brothers and no sisters and males seem to be dominant in my family. My husband and I wanted a girl but we knew our chances of having one were very slim so what did this girl do? She prayed.
In 2010 I began asking God if he would give us a girl if my husband and I tried for a third. We knew we wanted to start trying in September of 2011, so for a year I prayed. During that time of praying and waiting on an answer, I started having some changes in my body that I thought were serious, but as it turned out was nothing at all to worry about. I thought I had cancer. So September 2011 had arrived, the time had come for my husband and I to start trying but I was dealing with my body changes and I still hadn't gotten an answer from God, so I was a bit frustrated, to say the least.
So on September 8, 2011, the day before my birthday, I went before the Lord in prayer with all my frustrations in tow. I began to tell him how frustrated I was at the possibility of being sick, yet it was suppose to be the time of trying for a baby. I don't remember everything I said in my prayer but I remember being very frustrated with my body and it was with this frustration that I went before the Lord one last time to ask if he would give us a daughter.
At the time, my phone could not make any outgoing calls but could only receive calls, so coming out of my prayer and really needing to talk with my husband, yet knowing I couldn't reach him, I asked to Lord to let him call me; not even a minute later my husband called me. While talking to him, not disclosing that I had just been in prayer with God, he told me that he had something for me, but he wouldn't tell me over the phone but that I had to see it when he got home.
So my husband got home and pulled a little baggie out of his pocket and handed it to me. In this baggie were two knitted PINK baby mittens! I think I started crying at that very moment. I ask my husband what they were for and he told me a lady at work gave it to him to give to me.
When I started having body issues and thought I was sick, my husband told one of his female co-workers about my situation and so she started praying for me; her and her prayer partner (who didn't work at my husband's job). So while they were praying one day, the Lord spoke to the prayer partner and told her to give me pink knitted baby mittens! So my husband's co-worker passed along the message and I received those mittens on September 8, 2011 and I accepted them as a promise from The Lord that He would give me a baby girl.
There is more to the story...so come back tomorrow for part 2
The Lord blessed me with two wonderful boys. My firstborn was born in 2007, on my first year anniversary. I always call him my anniversary gift from God. My middle was born two years later in 2009. He is my "just because it was Monday" gift from God. (My husband, while we were dating, would always get me flowers "just because" whatever day it was). My husband comes from a family of seven children, six of whom are boys. I, myself, have two older brothers and no sisters and males seem to be dominant in my family. My husband and I wanted a girl but we knew our chances of having one were very slim so what did this girl do? She prayed.
In 2010 I began asking God if he would give us a girl if my husband and I tried for a third. We knew we wanted to start trying in September of 2011, so for a year I prayed. During that time of praying and waiting on an answer, I started having some changes in my body that I thought were serious, but as it turned out was nothing at all to worry about. I thought I had cancer. So September 2011 had arrived, the time had come for my husband and I to start trying but I was dealing with my body changes and I still hadn't gotten an answer from God, so I was a bit frustrated, to say the least.
So on September 8, 2011, the day before my birthday, I went before the Lord in prayer with all my frustrations in tow. I began to tell him how frustrated I was at the possibility of being sick, yet it was suppose to be the time of trying for a baby. I don't remember everything I said in my prayer but I remember being very frustrated with my body and it was with this frustration that I went before the Lord one last time to ask if he would give us a daughter.
At the time, my phone could not make any outgoing calls but could only receive calls, so coming out of my prayer and really needing to talk with my husband, yet knowing I couldn't reach him, I asked to Lord to let him call me; not even a minute later my husband called me. While talking to him, not disclosing that I had just been in prayer with God, he told me that he had something for me, but he wouldn't tell me over the phone but that I had to see it when he got home.
So my husband got home and pulled a little baggie out of his pocket and handed it to me. In this baggie were two knitted PINK baby mittens! I think I started crying at that very moment. I ask my husband what they were for and he told me a lady at work gave it to him to give to me.
When I started having body issues and thought I was sick, my husband told one of his female co-workers about my situation and so she started praying for me; her and her prayer partner (who didn't work at my husband's job). So while they were praying one day, the Lord spoke to the prayer partner and told her to give me pink knitted baby mittens! So my husband's co-worker passed along the message and I received those mittens on September 8, 2011 and I accepted them as a promise from The Lord that He would give me a baby girl.
There is more to the story...so come back tomorrow for part 2
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